SMYRNIOTIS v. LIGHTFOOT – Who is the Sausage King of Chicago?


Today in “Only in Chicago” news, a Chicago Park District attorney has filed a lawsuit against Mayor Lightfoot and the City of Chicago alleging defamation per se and per quod because … the Mayor insulted the attorney for doing a bad job, I guess. I don’t have time at present to get into why I don’t think this lawsuit has legs but, for now, please enjoy this colorful excerpt of statements allegedly made by Mayor Lightfoot to plaintiff on a Zoom call: 

“you dicks, what the fuck were you thinking? You make some kind of secret agreement with Italians, what you are doing, you are out there measuring your dicks with the Italians seeing whose got the biggest dick, you are out there stroking your dicks over the Columbus statue, I am trying to keep Chicago Police officers from being shot and you are trying to get them shot. My dick is bigger than yours and the Italians, I have the biggest dick in Chicago. Where did you go to law school? Did you even go to law school? Do you even have a law license? You have to submit any pleadings to John Hendricks for approval before filing. John told you not to do a fucking thing with that statute without my approval. Get that fucking statue back before noon tomorrow or I am going to have you fired. ”

I don’t care for vulgar language but, dang, do I love this City. The complaint can be found on the link below. Enjoy!